Honouring Papa Ven: A Tribute on His Death Anniversary

Papa Ven was a remarkable man who projected an image of toughness and resilience. However, those who knew him well understood that he had a wellspring of compassion and tenderness beneath his rugged exterior. He was a devoted family man who worked tirelessly to provide for his loved ones, ensuring their well-being and happiness. Despite his challenges, he approached life with unwavering optimism and a steadfast commitment to his principles.

One of the most endearing aspects of Papa Ven's life was his love story with my grandmother. They had a union that transcended cultural boundaries and defied societal norms. Papa Ven, a Manubo man from Mindanao, found his soulmate in my grandmother, a half-Spanish woman from Cebu. Together, they formed a bond as strong as coffee and milk, earning them the endearing moniker "Kape and Gatas" (Coffee and Milk) among their loved ones.

I often wish I had the opportunity to grow up with Papa Ven by my side and learn from his wisdom and experience firsthand. However, fate had other plans, and the geographical distance between us—my family residing in Cebu and Papa Ven in Mindanao—meant that our interactions were limited to occasional visits and infrequent phone calls.

Our visits to Papa Ven's house in Mindanao were never for pleasure. The first time we went, it was under strained circumstances. My father had given my mother an ultimatum: either we send the Nibeva to his parents' place or return to the Ablan residence in Mindanao. I can still recall the palpable tension and discomfort my mother must have felt as we arrived in her hometown. Yet, despite the difficult situation, we were warmly greeted by our grandparents.

The second visit was overshadowed by my grandmother's illness, serving as a stark reminder of the fragility of life. Witnessing her struggle reminded us of the preciousness and unpredictability of our time together.

The third visit was perhaps one of the saddest, where the family gathered to mourn the passing of my uncle, and the weight of grief hung heavily in the air. It was a sombre occasion, filled with tears and shared memories, as we bid farewell to a beloved family member.

I recalled that the last visit was poignant; it occurred on the day of his wake. He passed away the day before our shared birthday celebration. I reminisce about my childhood days when Papa Ven always made our birthdays extra special. Those moments were filled with joy and anticipation, and I eagerly looked forward to celebrating with him as a kid. However, there’s a palpable sense of something missing on my birthdays since his passing. The tradition he started remains etched in my heart, and I find myself longing for his presence and warm greetings.

Yet, amidst the challenges, moments of solace and connection emerged. I remember Papa Ven's warmth and kindness, his steady presence offering a sense of stability in times of turmoil. Though our visits were tinged with sorrow, they also served as a reminder of the strength of family bonds and the resilience of the human spirit.

Even when we didn't visit, Papa Ven's love and care extended across the miles. I recall when he travelled to Cebu City to be by our side during a family crisis; his unwavering support was a beacon of hope in a dark time.

As I look back on those precious moments, I feel a pang of regret—a longing for more time spent together, more conversations shared, and more memories created. The realisation that I wasn’t able to fully appreciate Papa Ven’s presence while he was with us weighs heavy on my heart. It is a poignant reminder of life's fleeting nature and the importance of cherishing every moment we have with loved ones.

As I light a candle in Papa Ven's memory today, I find solace in the knowledge that his spirit lives on in the love he shared and the legacy he left behind. Though he may no longer walk among us, his presence continues to guide and inspire me each day. Until we meet again, dear grandfather, rest in peace.